You've Won the [insert adjective + company's name here] Lottery/Sweepstakes (they're the same, right?)
Cross Posted from OLF (9/24/09):
It's hard to enjoy the "after" of having completed, and passed, the CFP examination when it seems everyone around you is falling prey to the most ridiculous scams. It's even worse when said person is emailing you from a retirement home, who can't talk on the phone due to hearing problems, and who is utterly convinced that he has won that Microsoft-Yahoo Lottery Sweepstakes (and yes, for everyone who won, I already called to confirm...it doesn't exist...remember that episode of Reno 911?), and who is sending gods-know-who in the U.K. $50 a month to keep his "parcel" from being shipped back to gods-know-where in Africa.
But, I don't want to dwell on the negatives.
I post the following in the hopes that others might be saved from the evils of hobbit trickery:
Hobbit 419
Dear MR BAGGINS, Fellow Conspirator,
I am Thorin Oakenshield, descendant of Thrain the Old and grandson of Thror who was King under the Mountain. I am writing you to discuss our plans, our ways, means, policy and devices for rescuing our treasure from the dragon Smaug.
During the reign of Thror our kingdom was a prosperous one. Kings used to send for our smiths, and reward even the least skillful most richly. Fathers would beg us to take their sons as apprentices, and pay us handsomely, especially in food-supplies, which we never bothered to grow or find for ourselves. Altogether those were good days for us, and the poorest of us had money to spend and to lend, and leisure to make beautiful things just for the fun of it, not to speak of the most marvellous and magical toys, the like of which is not to be found in the world now-a-days.
Undoubtedly that was what brought the dragon. Dragons steal gold and jewels from men and elves and dwarves, wherever they can find them; and they guard their plunder as long as they live (which is practically for ever, unless they are killed), and never enjoy a brass ring of it. There was a most specially greedy, strong and wicked worm called Smaug. One day he flew up into the air and came south. The dragon settled on our mountain in a spout of flame and routed out all the halls, and lanes, and tunnels, alleys, cellars, mansions and passages. After there were no dwarves left alive inside the mountain he took all their wealth for himself.
In view of this, I received your contact through a friend and counselor, an ingenious wizard, who noted you as a Burglar who wants a good job, plenty of Excitement and reasonable Reward. And I and my twelve companions have agreed to give you 10% of the total gold and jewels that the dragon Smaug now rests upon if you can join us on our long journey. When you have agreed please tell us the place where you dwell and send one hundred pence so that we might travel to you.
Please hold what I have told you in strict confidence and I look forward to your earliest response.
THORIN OAKENSHIELD
It's hard to enjoy the "after" of having completed, and passed, the CFP examination when it seems everyone around you is falling prey to the most ridiculous scams. It's even worse when said person is emailing you from a retirement home, who can't talk on the phone due to hearing problems, and who is utterly convinced that he has won that Microsoft-Yahoo Lottery Sweepstakes (and yes, for everyone who won, I already called to confirm...it doesn't exist...remember that episode of Reno 911?), and who is sending gods-know-who in the U.K. $50 a month to keep his "parcel" from being shipped back to gods-know-where in Africa.
But, I don't want to dwell on the negatives.
I post the following in the hopes that others might be saved from the evils of hobbit trickery:
Hobbit 419
Dear MR BAGGINS, Fellow Conspirator,
I am Thorin Oakenshield, descendant of Thrain the Old and grandson of Thror who was King under the Mountain. I am writing you to discuss our plans, our ways, means, policy and devices for rescuing our treasure from the dragon Smaug.
During the reign of Thror our kingdom was a prosperous one. Kings used to send for our smiths, and reward even the least skillful most richly. Fathers would beg us to take their sons as apprentices, and pay us handsomely, especially in food-supplies, which we never bothered to grow or find for ourselves. Altogether those were good days for us, and the poorest of us had money to spend and to lend, and leisure to make beautiful things just for the fun of it, not to speak of the most marvellous and magical toys, the like of which is not to be found in the world now-a-days.
Undoubtedly that was what brought the dragon. Dragons steal gold and jewels from men and elves and dwarves, wherever they can find them; and they guard their plunder as long as they live (which is practically for ever, unless they are killed), and never enjoy a brass ring of it. There was a most specially greedy, strong and wicked worm called Smaug. One day he flew up into the air and came south. The dragon settled on our mountain in a spout of flame and routed out all the halls, and lanes, and tunnels, alleys, cellars, mansions and passages. After there were no dwarves left alive inside the mountain he took all their wealth for himself.
In view of this, I received your contact through a friend and counselor, an ingenious wizard, who noted you as a Burglar who wants a good job, plenty of Excitement and reasonable Reward. And I and my twelve companions have agreed to give you 10% of the total gold and jewels that the dragon Smaug now rests upon if you can join us on our long journey. When you have agreed please tell us the place where you dwell and send one hundred pence so that we might travel to you.
Please hold what I have told you in strict confidence and I look forward to your earliest response.
THORIN OAKENSHIELD
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