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...What to do? / hello

"To walk in the direction of one's dream is necessarily to risk the dream" (Pursuits of Happiness, 100).

That said, what is one to do if that person is a dreamer? Which dream(s) is(are) worth pursuing?

I don't want to say I've come to a crossroad, but sometimes when in the midst of everything that is happening around me, I find it hard to approach the task at hand because of the crossroad I can see ahead of me.

For this reason, I hate stories. I hate that people think of their lives as stories. Stories are so uni-historical, singular, linear. I've often wanted to live a Borges text. Multiple threads of time and history, intersecting and diverging within the same space of a text. I hate having to cut off these alternate times, these alternate histories. I guess this is my fear of having to live out the wrong one, if there exists such a thing.
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I'm at home. Physically and mentally. It's nice to be able to lounge around all day in nothing but sweat pants and a sweat shirt; every now and again, peering outside at the cloud-filled sky, returning shortly to a book, or a tv show. As the week winds down, I need to start getting work done. I'm afraid that as soon as my stress/insomnia levels wind back down to a bearable level, I have to return for one last sprint. I need to write.
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After checking in on some long lost friends, I realize that it would be nice to go to japan this summer. I should also take a summer class (it's really more exciting than it sounds) though. I can already see my summer disappearing. Do I want to torture myself with an honors thesis (I already torture myself with a normal course load)? Or do I want to coast (skid) through senior year, taking a bunch of languages, and 1 or 2 more intense rhetoric courses?
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I don't know why I include this...but there's something about the "chance of rain" weather icon very much enjoy. Is it sunny or rainy? Will it matter? No.

"Life is hard, but then let us not burden it further by choosing tragically to call it tragic where we are free to choose otherwise." (Cavell)

Comments

  1. Unknown11:43 AM

    You know what? I decided I didn't want to put up with you, mopey.
    But, I am going to be home on Saturday night... and maybe even earlier if I leave on Friday, which is a possible plan. So, don't get all bent out of shape, just because you miss me. And anyway--it's not like you ever invite me to dinner anyway, it's always the other way around :P

    I want to go to Japan this summer.

    Are you going to go to Oklahoma with us? We can get handfuls of ferrets!

    hehehe.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous9:34 AM

    I got into Davis! Yay -Cody

    ReplyDelete

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